


Loki's Plaint

by ban_sidhe



Category: Loki/Marvel, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, Loki Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 17:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2590379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ban_sidhe/pseuds/ban_sidhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the debacle at the end of Thor, a fallen god finds himself alone and wondering what he is to become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loki's Plaint

**Author's Note:**

> Loki has just found out he’s not who he thought he was and that the people who claimed to love him have lied to him for his entire life. His reaction is typical of many adoptees. He’s hurt and angry and has run away from home, searching for identity and lusting for revenge.
> 
> Pictures were gathered from all over the Net and belong to their creators. Names and characters from the Marvel universe belong to them. The songs belong to their respective musical groups.

**Loki’s Plaint**  

 

  

 

 

**"Somewhere I Belong"**

 

   Linkin Park

 

(When this began)

I had nothing to say

And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me

(I was confused)

And I let it all out to find

That I’m not the only person with these things in mind

(Inside of me)

But all that they can see the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel

(Nothing to lose)

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

 

[Chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long

(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real

I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

 

And I’ve got nothing to say

I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face

(I was confused)

Looking everywhere only to find

That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

(So what am I)

What do I have but negativity

’Cause I can’t justify the way everyone is looking at me

(Nothing to lose)

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

 

[Repeat Chorus]

 

I will never know myself until I do this on my own

And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed

I will never be anything till I break away from me

I will break away, I'll find myself today

 

[Repeat Chorus]

 

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong

Somewhere I belong[/center]

 

Loki sits in his room, slumped on a cushioned lounge, one foot on the cushions, one on the floor.  He’s dragged a mirror close and propped it up so he can see himself.  It’s a much less elegant accommodation than what he’s used to.  But it has door, one that locks.

 

His left arm is resting on the raised knee.  He’s staring at it, turning it over and back, flexing the hand.  (It’s the one that the Jotun grabbed.)  He lifts his eyes to the mirror, takes a deep breath and lets himself go blue, red eyed.  It makes him shudder.  In disgust?  Self-loathing?  

                                                                                                             

 

Looking at the stranger in the glass, Loki speaks to it... to him.  “I don’t belong there after all.  It never was my throne; they’re not my family.  Gods!  I’ve killed my own father for that liar!  I am a monster.”  He drops his face into his hands and sobs, broken hearted, remembering.

 

 _Odin said I had been abandoned.  Left to die.  What if that wasn’t true?  What if I’d only been hidden to protect me?  Now, I’ll never know._  

 

“I’ve been living a lie my whole life.  And now what?  Do I stay there amongst my people’s enemies and continue with the pretense?   I cannot go home; I’ve ruined that possibility.  But where would I go?  Where **can** I go?”  

 

“I don’t belong anywhere or to anyone.  My friends will never forgive this deception.”   _They’re not **your**  friends, they’re Thor’s; they only tolerate you because you're his brother.  Except he’s not._

 

“And what of my brother?”  (huffs in disbelief of his own folly) _He’s not your brother, fool._   “He never knew, either.  Now that he does, will he hate me?  I couldn’t blame him.”

 

He stares now at his usual face, tears standing in his again pale eyes.  “Should I even care?  None of them really cared about me.  Except Frigga.”

                                                                                                          

 

_And... and she’s not your mother.  No matter how much she claims to love you.  Is that why she taught me her magic?  She must have known it would set me apart.  Make me untrustworthy in the others’ eyes.  She was protecting her husband’s heir.  Of course!  Just another reason to keep me from my birthright._

"Where  **is**  my mother?”   _What happened to her?  If she lives does she wonder what happened to me?  Did **she**  give me up?  How can I find her?_

 

His head drops and the tears run freely down his cold cheeks.  After a moment, his breath hitches and he stifles another sob.  He will not cry like a child, like an Asgardian.  Those creatures who let their emotions have free rein, no matter the consequences.  He’s better than them.  Stronger.  

 

“I am a master of magic.  I’m smarter than any of them.  I will show them all what a mistake they’ve made.”  Now as he stares into the mirror, his eyes flash with the power of his magic and his rage.  

 

“Beware, Asgard.  You have made yourselves an enemy.  One who knows all your secrets, all your weaknesses.  And once I have made you all suffer for the pain you’ve caused me, I will destroy you.”  

                                                                                                         

 

The radio in the neighbouring apartment clicks on.  Usually he tunes it out.  But today, he listens.

 

  **Won’t Back Down**

by Fuel

 

YEAH!!! [x2]

 

I know what darkness means

(and the void you left for me)

The isolation stings

(So think it wants to bleed)

The echoes in my brain

(Of the things you said to me)

You took my everything

Now I'm coming for you!

 

[Chorus:]

I won't back down

I will not bow

I've come to bring you hell

I can’t forget

Things you did

I've come to bring you hell

 

The shadows that you see

(In the places that you sleep)

Are memories of me

(Better pray your soul to keep)

The truth behind your eyes

(You know that place you never see)

Your darkest little lies

Are coming for you!

 

[Chorus]

 

All the scars that never heal

All the wounds that will not seal

I will not forget the day

These memories never fall

 

[Chorus]

 

I've come to bring you hell

(I've come to bring you hell)[x4]

 

 _Oh, yes_ , he thinks, _Hel is coming._   Loki smiles.  

 

FINI

 


End file.
